Long ago, I heard an european joke about as would be the heaven and the hell for someone, using national stereotypes. In the heaven, we would have a French lover, a German car, an English police and a Italian chef. Everything that organized by a Belgian. In the hell, the car would be French, we would have German police, the chef were English and the Belgian lover. And to boot, the organization would stay in charge of an Italian.
But today is Valentine’s Day in the North Hemisphere, we are going to forget cars, plates, police and the organization and concentrate in a point. How would be dating or seducing a person that has a different culture? If already it is difficult understand what is going on in the head of a person that speaks same language and grew in a similar environment, wonder what is to translate, literally, the feelings of a foreigner?
The Latin lover’s fame traversed the entire world, putting under the same label, to the eyes of people from the United States and from the Northern Europe, the Colombian, Italian, Argentine, and Brazilian men. But anyone that have passed at least a day in two of those countries goes to notice that exist huge differences in the way of approach and of treat a woman. Or another man.
For the Argentine men, by example, is completely normal to kiss another man in the face, even though they have just met each other. Unnecessary to say that when they visit Brazil and are going to repeat the friendly handling they will have a hard time explaining that kiss is not linked to the sexuality. And Brazilians will keep looking weird at them. And the Argentines, by their turn, go to look very weird for a thing that for the Brazilian men is pretty common: going to the beach dressing a small swimsuit. And the Argentine will keep looking weird at them as well.
But let’s go to the flirt thing. How can you have a clue whether a personfrom another country is interested in you or not? The manuals of seduction say that there are universal rules, begining for the eyes, correct? Well, if you think about an Argentine girl you are going to spend months trying to figure out, because they just don’t look at you at all even if she is interested, as told me a friend of Buenos Aires. It means that generally speaking you are going to have that make a real effort for attract the attention of a woman from that city.
And if girl refuses an invitation for dinner with you because she should wash clothes? If the girl is from the United States, she probably is speaking the truth. She can think of you as a charming prince, the man she dreamt about to be the father of her sons. But there is no way she is going to skip the laundry to go with you. Have you ever heard about manifest destiny and how Americans have always something to do for the humanity? Bad luck for you, but at that moment her mission is washing clothes.
The Brazilian girls would never say that to you. We Brazilians are very sensible and we think this is the kind of thing can hurt someone. Who is going to recover himself after being changed by a wash machine in the Saturday night? A Brazilian girl never goes deceive you refusing your invitation for that reason. She may say her grandfather just died, she had already an appointment with coworkers….Or she can easily accept and let you waiting for hours until figure out you are going to dinner by yourself.
During the seduction, some reactions, from male and female, are independent of where the person was born. The truth is that sometimes you have few time for approaching a person and seems interesting. And that someone else is going to react in a certain way depending on how was her day or if she found you attractive. Once ago, an Italian friend was in a bar with other girls when a Danish guy approached and asked if she’ll want to dance. She answered no and the guy left. But she wanted to dance with him, just expected him to insist. If the guy were Brazilian, would insist to death and she would maybe accept, even if it was only to get rid of him before next tune.
And when it comes to how difficult can be understanding seduction, we must mention a scene from the movie Tootsie in which the character played by Dustin Hoffmann, pretending he is a woman, listens carefully all the fantasy of Jessica Lange’s character, telling in details that she was dreaming about being caught by a strange . The next day, without using women’s clothes, he meets her and does everything exactly the way she told. And she slaps his face. In the real life, that can eventually works independent of the nationality of the girl. Since you are Brad Pitt. Or she has no clothes to wash.